M
artin's natural modesty** precludes him from detailing his many credentials in web design, page authoring, search engine optimisation... or any of the multifarious disciplines required at the cutting edge of the cut-throat world of website design.
Ask anyone else if he is any good - and chances are you will find that opinion is divided; though there is little room to doubt that Google, at least, has come to recognise and acknowledge Martin's unique SEO abilities.
Martin acknowledges to being a slave to the net, and is a big fan of Les Visible Prahbu and Russell Davies and his pursuit of the quintessential English breakfast.
When he is not tinkering with websites, Martin is an enthusiastic horseman and helicopter pilot. He divides his leisure time between playing polo, golf and lacrosse on his estate sur la Côte d'Azur - and guggling White Lightning cider from the bottle, mumbling in a vaguely threatening manner at passers-by, and foraging for discarded cigarette butts outside of Ladbrokes in Skelmersdale.
He does, however, try to set Sundays aside when he can regularly be seen lurking at the traffic lights by Ikea on The North Circular Road, where he accosts unsuspecting motorists with a leering grin, a bucket and sponge, and a stretch of finest chamois leather.
**Either that, or he doesn't actually have any...
